Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Was It Abuse?

This post is really hard to write.

ML and I were at a friend's house on the weekend for a birthday party, and I think I witnessed something awful.

What happened? I think I witnessed a mom, my friend, lose it and actually abuse her son, E. And now I don't know what to do. Her son is a handful. That is an understatement. I could go on and on about why I think that is, from him never being consistently disciplined and his parents never having any time for him. However, that really is irrelevant right now.

E was misbehaving. E wasn't listening to his mom. E was hitting ML. My friend, took her son into the bathroom, and spanked him. And wow, could you hear the anger in her voice. She hit him, over and over again, hard. I counted at least 10 hits. I was standing outside of the bathroom, with my daughter, stunned. ML asked me why E was being bad. I had no idea what to say to that. I said "I don't know sweetheart", then directed her over to the toys and we started to clean up.

When we got home, I tried to talk to ML, tell her that it is NEVER OK to hit. I felt like such a hypocrite, as I didn't say anything to my friend. And ML said "but E got a spanking..."

When my friend came out of the bathroom, she said "I just don't know what to do with him, as nothing works, only spanking". I had no idea what I should say. I wanted to say "well spanking doesn't seem to be working either". I wanted to say, "spend some time with your son, stop leaving him every weekend with a babysitter". But I didn't.

I don't know what to do. Do I report this? Am I over reacting? Is it a mom just having a bad day? If I do anything, I am quite sure she would know it was me.

I want to do the right thing, I am just not sure what that is. I have confided in 2 people about what happened on the weekend. One said "you have enough on your plate, you don't need to get involved with this" and the other, was just as torn as me.

What if it was my child that was being hit, I would want someone to get involved. But I am so scared, what if E gets taken away? Is that in his best interest? How can I get my friend some help without that happening?

The only thing I do know, is that ML and I wont be spending anymore time with my friend and her son.

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