Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I lost my job, took forever to find a new one. And when I did it felt like I was gone for too long to start again. But then again, I thought I have something to say, even if it is just to myself... so here goes the update.
I am engaged. That fact alone still blows my mind. If you have read this post on my adoption blog, you would know what started it. When you find out how much money someone donates to an orphanage in your name, just to prove to you that they get "it" well it melted my cold single mom heart. In lieu of party favours at the wedding, we will make a donation to this same orphanage in Harare Zimbabwe.
We are planning on visiting Zimbabwe in December 2010 to visit with PN's family and of course to see the Orphanage that rekindled the relationship.
So the Wedding date is August and in Banff/Canmore, and will be a small family affair and will ad hear to as many of my feminist sensibilities that PN and my family can handle.
As for the EX... he moved to Montreal. ML was devastated. Got called in to speak with her Kindergarten Teacher asking what happened as she was no longer the same little girl. This obviously broke my heart and it has taken months for her to become the same little girl. This also prevented me from blogging, as there was just too much hurt.
What has helped is PN. ML is a special girl who has 2 fathers. Her Father in Quebec and her Step Dad who lives with us. It has been a hard adjustment, but we are working through it. There have been temper tantrums and the expected who is the boss/parent in the house, but I can tell you that ML is happy. Everyone says so. Since PN has become a permanent fixture in her life, people have commented how happy she is. And she tells EVERYONE that she has 2 dads. In her language she calls The Ex her "real" dad and calls him papa and her step dad whom she calls Dad. The calling PN Dad was her idea... When she speaks of PN she just calls him Dad, and when someone refers to him as her Dad she just gets a little smile on her face and agrees with them.
To help with the bonding, we went on a trip to the Bahamas. This did wonders for us as a family. The time we spent together just playing on the beach and experiencing things was priceless.
So that is my life in a nutshell these last 11 months...
Oh and in 2 days I am going to Vegas with my sisters and friends for my stagette!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Five years ago today I became a mom.
It has truly been the best and hardest five years of my life.
The past week I was without ML as she was with her father for the first of her 2 weeks with him for summer visits.
So on the week approaching my 5 year anniversary of being a mom, I spent it alone. Friends telling me I should enjoy it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, but it certainly wasn't something I enjoyed, and my house was way too quiet. I missed my Daughter. It didn't help that I didn't work for part of the week. The week alone, I got to experience my life as "child free". I prefer the child in my life. Even though it is infinitely harder and more work, it is just plain more fun!
I picked ML up Sunday night, and I asked about her visit. She told me many interesting tidbits. .
One of these tidbits was that when her father missed a weekend visit in June, as well as Fathers day, he was more than the "out of town" that he told me. He was in the UK with his sister. They decided to stay a bit longer so that is why he missed picking her up on Father's day. Funny that he claims poverty to the courts and he is $5000 in arrears in his child support payments....
The second tidbit, and this bothers me on so many levels, is that this past week was the first time he has ever had ML for an extended time... but he didn't take one day off work. He also sent her to someones house for a sleep over one night...
It makes me sad.