That State of being Single

With the Sex and the City movie opening this weekend, and ML's father being the world's biggest jerk, among other random things, I have been thinking a lot about being single.

With the sex and the city link, I just wish I could meet as many fabulous men that the ladies seem to meet. Granted very few stay around, but really, there must be some of these men in Alberta? Right?

ML's Father being a jerk? Well I know that is news to the 3 of you who read this blog, but last weekend, I think he trumped himself. Truly. He screamed obscenities at me, with ML not a foot away from him. Why? Oh because I asked him not to swear at me and then had the Gaul to ask how he wanted to communicate about school. What does this have to do with being Single? It has to do with me being SO THANKFUL that he is not in my life EVERYDAY. And Knowing that being a single 35 year old woman is much better than being attached to the likes of him.

The other random things? One of them is I searched a on-line dating site and was appalled at the things men write. Like they are looking for "movie making partners" and the "sexually liberated with no strings"... in the relationship section!!! Which takes me back to the Question about there has to be some good men in Alberta right? OK then just lie to me OK?

The last thing is that little Urban Myth that says the more education a women has the less likely she is to be married and the less sex she has (I can't find a reference to it, But I KNOW I have read it before). Well guess who is starting to work on her master's degree again... Yup, that is right. Sister Tanya. Soon I guess I will be living like a nun.... but wait I guess I could just aspire to be like Samantha and contact those men looking for the movie making partner right?

Kindergarten Orientation

Like I said here, I will be a blubbering mess when School starts in September

When they opened with the parents prayer, my eyes started to tear up! Listening to the speech therapist, principal and the kindergarten teachers made me so excited for ML for school to start!

When I saw the classroom with the little chairs and the room full of all their art work, made me start to cry...

I had a long chat with ML's teacher, told her about her Epilepsy, her Father. Especially the concerns I have around religion and her fathers thoughts about that. She thanks me for telling her, and said it gives her the summer to come up with great retorts if ML ever repeats what her Father tells her about God. I also mentioned my adoption plans and she was very excited for us, and will try to incorporate adoption and out country of choice into the curriculum. I told her I will keep her posted.

She showed us their printing books, artwork (she teaches them how to draw, and I think most are better than I am!) and the scrapbooks with all the pictures that she prepares, are priceless.

My little girl is going to school, and although I am so excited for her, it still makes me cry! She is not so little anymore!

Regrets?

A blog that I check daily is Tertia's. I love her writing and her honesty. Plus it is fun to hear about life half way across the world in Cape Town South Africa.

On her blog she is asking:

"Looking back at last week, last month, last year, the last decade, the past lifetime, what is it that you wished you had done or not done that you would pass on as a piece of advice to others who might follow your path. About marriage, parenting, work, life in general. I am not talking about regrets; I am talking about opportunities to learn. "

Well there were two lessons in the comments so far that had me nodding in agreement.

The first, is a motto that I try to follow, much to the chagrin of my family. "Don't be too house proud, nobody ever died wishing they had a cleaner house. Get out and enjoy life". My family are people who (in my opinion) care too much about the state of their houses. My mom has even said to me that if I had a neater house she would visit more often. I told her that is sad. We have argued about that one a few times...

The second was written by Mel. Tertia's sister. Her blog is Here. It is an awesome comment and I wanted to share it here. I find myself, more often than I would like doing what she advises not to. I know I shouldn't. But it is hard, especially when I am surrounded by "happy" couples.

Mine is for single parents....Don't over compensate, enjoy every second of being a parent that doesn't have to take care of a significant other and never has someone second guess her decisions. Don't keep on thinking what you don't have because you won't see what you do have.Don't feel lucky someone is "willing" to be in your life and deal with your baggage, see it as such an honour for them that you are willing to allow them into your precious family and share in the life of your child. (Carina told me that and it changed my dating life) Be a parent 1st and a friend second.

This past weekend in Radium was awesome. So relaxing and so nice to be in the mountains. Even the family got along really well, so well in fact that it has been a long time that it was like that for us. There was a warning that a cougar was seen in the area ( no, not me!!) and lots of mountain goats and big horn sheep wandering around, was a real treat for ML and me.

However Sunday night, friends of my sisters stopped by and I was surrounded by "happy" couples. I had a bit of a pity party, wondering why not me? I know I know, lame, but it is hard sometimes. Now I know they might not really be "happy" and I know I don't want to settle, just sometimes.....

Anyways, the comment about single parents made me think, and to be thankful.

May Long Weekend YAY!!

This is where I am going.

Be back on Tuesday!

Have a happy Long Weekend!!

First trip to the Dentist

This week ML had her first trip to the Dentist. It went very well, they made sure she wasn't scared, had fun "counting" her teeth. No cavities. Yay!

He did say that she has a "tongue thrust" and that she could use some speech therapy to get her out of that habit. That is not something I have ever noticed, but am told they screen for speech issues in Kindergarten, so that will be done for me in the fall. Oh and he did say a little thing about Braces are pretty much a given in her future...

ML was very disappointed that she was not offered a new toothbrush... I didn't realize this until after we had left, was too busy listening to all the Dentist had to say and of course paying my share. Paying it seems will be something that is done a lot of in the future if this prediction of Braces is indeed true.

The Other Child

I don't want this blog to just be a bitch fest for me about THE EX, but I need to write about it.

The past week there needed to be some tweaking of the parenting time as a result of Mother's day as per our agreement. I sent an email informing him I would pick ML up on Sunday morning since I have a family event in his city anyways... he responded with "I want my 2 days therefor I want her Thursday night until Saturday night". I said no, sorry that doesn't work. She has soccer that I coach, so we will not be home to facilitate the pick up and she has preschool on Friday that she loves. Plus I don't want to start the precedent that it is OK to pull her out of school for 'parenting time'.

Apparently he was very unhappy with this arrangement, but as I have mentioned here before, he doesn't communicate regularly with me, and he didn't respond. I had no idea if he was still coming Thursday, if he as bringing her back Saturday ... etc. So when he showed up on Friday to pick ML up, I asked him if the plan was as I mentioned, the Sunday morning pick up by me, and he responds with "I'm not speaking to you". I said OK, just tell me yes OR no. Silence. He put ML in the car, locked the doors rolled up the windows and drove off. So I called him, he put me on ignore.

So I called his girlfriend, apologized for putting her in a spot, and asked her.

I showed up Sunday Morning, picked up ML and took her to my car. When putting her in her seat, I noticed that she had a bad rash, looked like the measles (she has been vaccinated) but I was worried, so I called him. I asked him if he saw the rash, did he just wash her face with soap, maybe that is the offender... he says "she didn't get it from my house". I say "THE EX we have been out of your house for 90 seconds..." he says "didn't happen here" and hangs up.

My mother says that I shouldn't tell people about the way he behaves, as it makes me look bad. Maybe, but if I don't tell someone, I will explode. When he behaves this way I wonder how the Hell were we ever together? How the Hell does he have another girlfriend and family?

He is a Child. I am guessing about 7 years old.

Mothers Day

I wanted to share the gifts that ML made me on this mothers day. I was lucky enough to get two presents from her.
One was done with Grandma. They picked out a flower and a planter and they planted it together... It will be going on my front step . The other is a precious piece of art that was created at her day home.

I am a lucky mom.

Special Guest Yet Again

I again had the privilege of being the Special Guest at ML's preschool. This time it was for a field trip. The teacher planned a 4 km hike with the 3 & 4 year olds through a nature preserve. I figured she was crazy and I would end up carrying a few kids, but I figured I love to hike so I volunteered.

I just cannot say enough good things about this program. It gets kids so interested in their environment and nature. Many of the girls were very concerned that an ant would be stepped on, and a few tears where shed when in fact, this did happen. When a few of the kids would start shrieking because of the sight of a bug, others would remind them that they were food for the birds and then it would be all OK.

One of the funniest moments for me was when little boy came running up to be yelling " I just saw a Red Ant!!" like it was the most exciting thing he has ever seen, so I asked him if he likes red ants and he says "No! They bite 'member??"Like don't you know anything lady? ha ha

Walking along the paths, the teacher would point out a plant or shrub or moss and the kids would all yell its name. I think I even learned a few things!

The kids were a hoot (sorry pun intended I had too! And yes we even saw an owl and their nest!). When it was all done, driving home for lunch, ML was fast asleep in the car. Perfect. I will be taking her on this hike again!!

Question at Church

On the weekendss that ML is with me, we take my mom to church. ML looks forward to going, as she loves attending the children's litergy, which invariably involves coloring a page about gospel reading of the day. This is something we have done (not faithfully mind you ) since ML was born. (It is every second weekend, as she doesn't attend with her father. He has now decided that he is an atheist. He tells ML such gems as "God is extinct like the Dinoaurs".)

In our church there is "The Great Crucifix". It is a beautiful piece of art, 6.5 m in height. If you are not familiar with Catholic symbolism, on a Catholic cross there is a depiction of Jesus nailed to the cross.

We usually sit on the side of the church, right next to the cross, as it is easy for ML to see me when she comes out of the Children's Litergy, if we sit elsewhere, she ends up wandeing the aisles of the church lost, looking for me.

So this all being let up to the question ML asked yesterday at church. She pointed to the cross and very loudly asked

"Mom who is that there?"

I think we have some work to do!