Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I was having a reasonably amicable chat with ML's father, trying to plan ML's 4th birthday party. Her Birthday falls on HIS weekend, but he has acquiesced and allowed the party to be where we live and he will bring her to his place that evening. So I thought all was going well in the lives of 2 separated parents that up until a few months ago, couldn't stand the sight of one another. Then he informed me that he wont be attending the birthday party festivities, as he can't stand to be around my family. So I am torn on how to feel about this. Happy that it won't be an uncomfortable and awkward occasion for most involved, but sad a little for ML that her dad has chosen not to attend. Maybe she doesn't care at this point... and maybe this is a sign of things to come. I know if it was the other way around, there is no way you could keep me away from her party, but not everyone is like me, right?

So while discussing this, he throws into the conversation about how stressful it is to be having this second baby (it's a girl). Just for the record, my baby lust it no secret. I think everyone, including THE EX knows about my longing more more kids, so this gets my back up a bit. I ask why, and he goes on about how there are kids who are sick and dying everyday and that is stressful. So I ask, are you feeling guilty to be having a healthy child? Then he says that I just don't understand, as the girlfriend is a nurse and she sees kids die everyday.

He acts like he is the first person to ever think like this. The first prospective parent to ever be worried and stressed about the health of their child. I had to add, well where you were when ML was sick last summer? Granted, ML's medical issues are now pretty easy to deal with, she gets medicine twice a day for her epilepsy, and she has been seizure free for almost nine months (and of course I'm knocking on wood as I type this). However, he was never there for all the trips to the doctor, the ambulance rides and the hospital tests and visits when we were trying to find out what was wrong. When you are at the neurological department at the children's hospital and the doctor tells you she is looking for a brain tumor while she is examining your kid, it causes a bit of stress, and before that, a lot of sleepless nights.

OH, how I wanted to come through the phone and punch him!! How dare he complain about having another healthy girl.

To add insult to injury, he later phoned to try to talk to ML (she wont talk to her father on the phone) and then again starts to complain about how they have no money and it is so hard to raise a kid on one salary.... Honestly, I couldn't make this shit up! I again reminded him that I in fact do KNOW what that is like since I have only had child support for 4 months of ML's almost 4 years of life...


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