Friday, June 20, 2008

A Record For ML

This blog of mine is turning into a journal of sorts to give ML. I didn't start this for her, but now it feels like this will be for her. For her when she is 12 and thinks that her Mother is crazy and knows nothing, when she is tempted to live with her father. Also for when she is older so she will know her story.

ML's father has not seen her since the end of May, he cancelled his last weekend visit to go out of town, where I have no idea. As I posted, didn't show up on Father's day. There is never even a phone call between visits.

This is his weekend, the first time he has seen his daughter in almost a month. He was 15 minutes late to pick her up. When ML realized that he was here, finally, she ran and grabbed her Father's day gift, excitedly put on her shoes, forgot her overnight bag and ran out of the house and down the driveway. She was so excited to finally give him his gift... you could feel her excitement, and the smile on her face couldn't have been bigger.

She gave him her masterpiece, "look what I made you!" she yells. "Whats this? oh" is his reply and then he puts it in the van. He didn't say thank you. He didn't say how wonderful it is. He didn't even say HI to his daughter. He just put her in the van, all the while she is trying to get his attention " right papa? papa did you hear me"

I asked him to please tell me when he is taking her this summer, as he has her for 2 weeks. He doesn't answer. I asked again, really nicely. "Please The Ex, I need to make arrangements for this summer...." No response. I asked him to just email me the dates. No response, just gets in the van, shuts the doors and drives off.

It is June 20th and he refuses to tell me when he is taking her for his share of the summer vacation. I have asked him since March, as that was when the first summer camps and activities started accepting registrations. ML told me that they are planning a trip to Quebec, and he wont tell me when they are going.

I hope that she sees him for who he is one day. I hope that by that time he hasn't hurt her too much.

Everyone says he can't do this, he can't be this unreasonable... He is. And there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do about it.

I am just so scared that he will take her to Quebec and not bring her back.


graceling said...

Oh, man, I know what this is like. Sometime this summer, Abigail will go to Illinois for 3 weeks (don't know when, he hasn't told me yet.)

This man who has not seen his daughter since last summer, and who hardly ever talks to her on the phone will have her for 3 weeks, 1000 miles away from me.

I know what that feels like. He shouldn't be allowed to do that. But he is. And there is so little I can do other than pray, and love Abigail so much that she knows I am always here.

Beverly said...

That is a legit fear. So sorry you are dealing with it. My sister has an ex like that.

Anonymous said...

Somehow I think that your x and my x must be having the same conversations and made a pact to be so very selfish! I;m so very sorry for your struggles and know that ML will grow up to know how much YOU love her.