"Mom You're Fat"

Fun title for a post dont you think? This is what my daughter ML said to me last night. After the initial shock that these words came out of her mouth ( she's 3) and confirming that I did indeed hear correctly, I asked her why she said this and her response.... "papa (her father) said it".

So yes I will admit it, I am not supermodel thin. I have struggled with my weight since highschool. My fabulous boyfriend back then told me I was fat (um not the case at all, when I see pics from then I want to scream at myself!!!). This is one thing I want so much for my daughter not to be saddled with. I know I can't control that, but I can do my damnedest!!! ( Is that a word? my mom uses it so I am continuing...)

So back to where she heard it from. Yeah I can hear him saying this. He has a major issue with weight. When I was pregnant he loved reminding me how big my ass was becoming, and afterwards decided that my stretchmarked stomach was quite repulsive... yeah I know a real catch... but I digress....

Of course I questioned her everyway I could think of (thanks Law & Order) to find out if in fact she did hear this from him or from other kids or... she kept saying "nope no one else, just papa, he says that I'm fat too, both of us are" and she is smiling the whole time, thinking that this is a compliment....

For the record I have questioned him on this and he denies that he ever said such a thing...

So then ML and I had a talk about how this is not something nice to say to people, that it hurts their feelings blah blah blah... and that in fact neither of us are in fact "fat".

What makes me the most angry is this is appearing in a 3 year old's vocabulary. I dont want her to be one of those girls who at age 10 are on a diet. I hate that this society puts so much importance on the way a woman looks. My mantra after finally ditching the asshole boyfiend in high school was "I was not put on this earth for you too look at". And although it didnt always work to get rid of my insecurities and body issues, it is still what this feminist believes. I know I have a lot of work to do do help my daughter not have these same issues, I just wish it didnt have to start before she knew "fat" was a bad word.