Thirty-Five

I don't feel old enough to have this number attached to me. I never have had a problem with getting older, but this year it is hard.

I am one of those people who LOVES their birthday. My family even teases me about this, but this year, turning 35 has brought tears to my eyes more than a few times. I think it is because my life doesn't look like I thought it would. I always assumed that at 35 I would have a house full of kids, a partner in life, and be changing the world with my fabulousness (smile).

I know I am not the first to not have life turning out the way I had planned, and I know only I can change this, but today it still hurts.

So today I am having a pity part, all are welcome, (BYOB!!) and tomorrow I should be back to finding how my fabulousness will be changing the world!

International Women's Day

March 8th is International Women's Day

Violence against women is an issue that cannot wait. At least one out of every three women is likely to be beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime. No country, no culture, no woman young or old is immune to this scourge.

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

Why I Dissappeared From the Blogosphere..

What did happen to me from the time of my last post in 2007 (October) until I reappeared in 2008 (February) ?

The reason was that I was in a wicked (understatement) court battle with ML's father. It concerned parental time, access, guardianship and child support. I not only had nothing positive to say, I was afraid that what I wrote on my blog could come back to haunt me. I do blog anonymously, however, I assume if anyone really wanted to find out who I am in real life (IRL), they certainly could. The last thing I wanted was something that I wrote here to be admissible in court.

I may have been over cautious or paranoid, but up until my last court date, I was just not willing to take the risk.

Now that it is mostly over, I again feel free to write my real feelings, although they are still veiled in anonymity.

Teaching Tolerance

Oh the things you need to talk to four year old's about...


It started at Christmas when ML noticed that not everyone went as crazy as we do with the decorations and lights. She asks "Why" about everything! We discussed that not everyone celebrates Christmas, not everyone likes putting lights on their houses, and unfortunately some people can't afford it etc. etc. But that it was OK that people didn't. That There are lots of things people do that we don't participate in, and that makes learning about other people and ideas fun.


These Questions were mostly forgotten once the Christmas season was over, but teaching tolerance to my daughter became very important recently.


Unfortunately, I have had a child with someone who no longer believes in tolerance, (and he is mad at me, another post) and has told my daughter that smart people know "something" and not smart people don't. (I will discuss what this "something" in a later post, it is not about race, it is about religious beliefs, and I think it deserves its own post). So I had to go back to our discussion about Christmas with ML.

I know how to teach adults tolerance. However, I am having a really hard time with this conversation with a 4 year old. I know I can say the same things over and over until she is old enough to understand, but I am afraid that she will go to school in September and say what she has heard and this will either either hurt another child, or me receiving a phone call from the school. I find the words and examples I want to use are hard for her to understand


I have purchased a few books to read to ML, (and if anyone knows of more good ones, please let me know...) One of them so that she knows that it is OK that she has epilepsy, that it is OK to be different, the others I purchased in anticipating that another person would be joining our family, and most likely will not look like either me or ML.

Any suggestions would be most welcome.


All the Colors of the Earth by Sheila Hamanaka

We're Different, We're the Same by Bobbi Kates

Why am I Different by Norma Simon

Life got in the way

I said I would be back in October, and look it is already the end of February!! My only explanation is that life got in the way. Lame I know. I have had so many things I wanted to blog about, and I didn't. So I am back and I going to write here more regularly. I really missed expressing myself, and even if no one else reads... its all good. Besides, I still have a tonne of things I want to write about!!

Here is the Cole's notes version of what has happened in my life these last 4 months...

1) I have a nephew And a niece, so I am finally an Auntie!!
2) My grandmother passed away
3) ML has a half sister courtesy of her father (not THAT much happened in the last four months!! ha ha)
4) I went to court another 3 times and that is almost completed, and it worked out pretty well in my favour... ML now goes for full weekends to her father's, and he has to pay all his child support arrears and some of my lawyers fees! (Hee!!)

Stay Tuned...

OK I know I am really bad at the regular posting thing lately, a lot has been going on in the life of this single mom, death in the family, births and work...

I will get back to posting on a regular basis, goddess knows I need to...

But while I am working away on a great thought provoking post... read this little tidbit I found on salon.com.... and discuss....

I know I have a tonne to say.... soon

Court: Version 2.0

Wow has it really been that long since I last posted??

A lot has occurred in my life, and it has taken a while for it all to be processed.

At the end of August I was in court to finish reworking the parenting agreement. If you recall this was all initated by THE EX. THE EX did not show. I figure he forgot. Can you believe it? I had a feeling that would happen. No one to remind him and place a sticky note on the fridge I guess. After it became apparent that he was going to be a no-show, a court worker actually asked me if I had called to remind him!!! Yeah, apparently it should be my responsibility to remind a man, that started court proceedings to have more time to be a responsible parent, that he is due in court! My lawyer took one look at my face and said "Don't answer that!!"

Here is the Cliff's Notes version of Court, version 2.0. Court has been moved to the city where I live, much more convenient and hopefully less costly. THE EX has been court ordered to provide his financials, as he has yet to do that. He was initially ordered to do this way back in February. If he fails, he will be in contempt of court and could face jail time!! That is a bit scary! We are due in court again next month (stay tuned for version 3.0!!). I was really hoping that the judge would just make the interim agreement permanent and be done with it, but I guess he gets a few more chances to show up.

To update and sum a few things up, THE EX is still unemployed, refusing to pay support- because of the lack of funds directly relating to his lack of employment, but some how can afford to move this weekend, and the new baby is due in a month. Remember this post about a Bullet dodged?? Yeah, that just keeps becoming more and more apparent!